Friday 14 September 2012

Who Regurgitated the Sardines?

18-08-2012
On the Train from Berlin to Prague

This train is crazy! It’s similar to the ones in Harry Potter with the little cabins - You know where Harry brags to the trolley lady "We'll buy the lot". So with all the cabins on one side and a narrow isle on the other this is the full works of the train. I'm not complaining about the layout of the train, as it looks rather classy, but it’s just that we don’t have a reservation. So we are just standing in the isle, with about 100 more none 'Reservees'. We are rammed and are constantly on the lookout for the smallest space just to stretch out a finger or toe. I have people to the side of me, people to the back of me (which I was sure was just a window, but no, apparently someone could squeeze in, using the space that the arch of my back had created), and people in my face. I have had boyfriends in the past that didn’t even get this close to me. I would say like sardines, but even they have more room than us in that comfy little tin of theirs. I am almost sure that if you opened a can of sardines that looked like how we do now, you would defiantly send it back and demand not only a refund but an explanation as to who regurgitated it before putting it back in the tin!

There’s a baby, including its pushchair, and they also didn’t make a reservation (well the parents didn’t, I’m not sure Babies are that advanced), not only did they not make a reservation but both Mum, Dad, the baby, and the fricking pushchair are occupying someone else’s RESERVED seat. Shit is going down.

The Isle is getting more crowded and it looks like two lanes of traffic, each going in opposite directions and merging into one. The people that haven’t made seat reservations are either blocking the isle or sitting in a reserved seat. The people that have made reservations are trying to squeeze, barge and shove their way through the crowd to get to their paid for seat- which in turn means they are also joining the masses in helping to block the isle. Once they have found their allocated seat they either sit down looking calm and smug like "Ha! Well I have my seat", or they do the opposite and start kicking off with the non-'Reservees' and try to claim back what’s rightfully theirs.

Kei's started to panic due to claustrophobia, but I on the other hand are actually quite enjoying myself- making friends that kind of thing, you know.

Right Kei's going for it! He leaves me with all the luggage and skilfully surfs through the now less busy crowd in search of spare seats so that we can sit for the remainder 4 hours of the journey (possibly less than 4 hours now I’m not sure how long we have been in this pickle).

He's back and we are in luck, now all we need to do is plough through three more carriages of this to get to some seats then eat. I’m starving! All that friendship making makes you hungry.

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