With the move getting closer, I thought
that we would need to start considering money saving techniques. So being a
fully qualified beauty therapist, I decided to let the wax meet my pubic
hair! I figured if I home waxed then this would save on razors. How very clever
of me right?
Now this is the part I should probably mention that I only got trained in 'bikini waxing' and not 'Intimate waxing'- intimate waxing is anything from the pubic bone to the very sensitive skin underneath. I will also add here that the wax you use on your legs is a different consistency to the wax that you need to use on your privates. The wax you need to use on your bits is designed specifically for those areas, to enable a comfortable, SAFE and injure free, hairless pamper. I only have wax suitable for legs.
Being me. I asked myself, 'what’s the worst that could happen?’ But again being me. I learnt the hard way.
So here's how it went...I parted my legs so that I was straddling
a magnifying mirror for maximum visibility. Mirror in place, I then realized that my body was creating a shadow on my fanny, making it difficult to aim the wax in the correct destination. Taking extra precaution in
this risky demonstration, I employed a lamp and angled it to
illuminate my Pum! I then went through my mental check list:
1. Tested the angle in which the hair grows - CHECK
2. Legs parted wide enough so I don't end up gluing my fanny
closed for life - Now this is pretty serious, and after considering the lifelong
implications I adjusted accordingly and balanced on my tip toes to get a wider
spread. - CHECK
3. Enough Lighting - CHECK
4. Wax is at the correct temperature - CHECK
5. Prepared for the agony - CHECK
Here goes... using one hand, I dipped the spatula into the warm
wax ready for application. With the other hand I used this to move my other
parts out of the way and pulled my skin taught. In one smooth swooping
motion, I created a thin covering of wax on the outside of my right lip.
Sticking down the strip and praying for mercy, I tore the strip off with such
force, and the pressure from ripping one way and pulling hard in
the opposite direction, actually tore my fanny!
Within seconds it started to drip with blood onto my laminate
floor and my legs started to tremble. It was probably the most painful thing
that my fanny has ever endured, and has slightly put me off child birth! It wasn't the wax that pulled my skin off which was my initial thought, but it was the
stretching and tugging that caused my delicate skin to literally tear the size
of 5cm! It was like an opened wound and stung like a bitch.
For those who would like to know where it tore here is a diagram
(might I add this fanny does not belong to me)
Where I have drawn the blue line this is where my skin tore.
There are definitely cut backs to make when moving into your first home, but cutting your vagina doesn't have to be one. That's one painful lesson learnt well.
